I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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