If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My cat gives me a boner
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
