Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
