been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
