So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
