I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize