May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
