Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
