So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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