Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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