Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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