What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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