Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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