I hate your face
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
