his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
