we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
