So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
