when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I smell stomach acid.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize