There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
