ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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