I want to stick my p in your. b.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
