I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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