Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
