So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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