Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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