Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
