Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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