Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
