I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When did angry sex become our thing?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
