Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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