I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
