sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Two words: nipple clamps
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