they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
