You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
