Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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