dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
