he puts the penis in happiness.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
