the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
