why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
