i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
