Umm I'm too high to move.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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