Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize
