Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Randomize
