I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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