i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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