So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
