Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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