I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
