why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
