just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
