You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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