i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Acid is not a monday night drug
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
