Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
