i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You were trust falling into bushes
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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