her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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