She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
