His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
