I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
