U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
