I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
