I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize